Why Don't I Get What I Want?
The
smart 'spiritual' answer is 'you always get what you want'.
But that isn't very helpful, because if you can't pay the
power bill and you want to be warm, there's clearly a conflict,
and you can justifiably say 'I'm not getting what I want.
Unfortunately
my life-experience has taught me that the smart answer is
almost invariably accurate. But what it doesn't communicate
is that some wants are more powerful than others; some wants
conflict with others; and some wants you don't even know about,
because they are buried deep within your subconscious mind
and possibly need a skilled therapist to extract them.
Now,
let's just play around with ideas here, just to get a feel
for what I mean. Let's say that every wealthy person you've
ever met has seemed to you unkind, selfish and self-serving.
And let's further say that a wealthy relative treated you
shabbily as a child. Let's even further say that your parents
just got by financially and you remember them saying things
like 'money is the root of all evil' and 'money doesn't grow
on trees'. It may be fair to say that you could have been
conditioned against wealth. It could be that you see, at a
subconscious rather than a conscious level, the possession
of money as something that would change you into a person
you not only have no desire to be, but also a person you would
dislike.
Life
may then have taken you to low-paid employment. Life may also
have provided you with physical problems, problems with health,
and/or psychological problems that made it almost impossible
for you to rise to the position in society that your mind
would warrant were it free to pursue it's dreams without fear
or hindrance.
If
these were the background circumstances to the situation in
the opening paragraph, I would have no hesitation in saying
that you are getting exactly what you want. You don't want
to be cold, I agree, but you do want to have as little money
as you can get away with and that is a greater need for you
because the conditioning runs deeper.
This
is just an example of how we sabotage our desires.
Self-sabotage
is:
* a subconscious act.
* self-protective.
* created from beliefs about self.
* created from beliefs about the world.
* more powerful than the force of attraction to what we truly
desire.
* how we stop ourselves from having to face our own power.
* how we stop ourselves from seeing how incredibly magical
life is.
Please
note that beliefs are not Truths. Beliefs are just things
you believe are true. Beliefs are, more often than not, mistaken
ideas, or ideas that are true at one level but not at others.
So
how do we get what we want?
A
Course in Miracles states that: 'What you need to learn now
is that only infinite patience CAN produce immediate effects.'
What
this really means is: know deep down within yourself that
your desires are yours - without doubt. And know that you
have no control over how or when they will manifest. Then
let go. Be at peace with what is to come, and it will knock
at your door the moment you let go.
And
now I'll show you how the self-sabotage even works with this.
You take this knowledge about infinite patience and you say
to yourself something along the lines of 'right I'll let go
of this so I'll get it now'. You don't get it now, and you
don't get why you didn't get it now. And your conclusion is
that this is more mumbo jumbo that you were a fool to ever
be taken in by in the first place. If you truly believed that
your desires were simply a spiritual 'notice' of what was
to come, then letting go would happen quite naturally. Impatience
is what gets in the way. Impatience is not allowing the Universe
to bring into your life what is perfect for you at the perfect
time for your joy. It may be that in order to maximise your
pleasure at the receipt of what you want, you have to learn
some stuff first. Learning that stuff is going to take you
three years, so The Universe has your desire arranged for
three years time. If you keep checking out the window to see
if it's arriving, then you won't get to learn the stuff you
need to learn and so the Universe will keep your gift on hold
until you do. So if it takes you ten years to give up waiting,
that's the earliest the Universe can get started on your lessons
so it's going to be thirteen years instead of three before
what you desire arrives.
Lets
say your heart's desire is a partner to love and be loved
by; to support and be encouraged by; to share your pleasures
with and to learn new ones; someone who isn't jealous and
enjoys your independence. But you seem to keep getting caught
up in relationships that are about as far away from this as
you can get. Once you notice a pattern re-occurring in your
life - that's a message that you have an important lesson
to learn. Obviously you are being attracted to the wrong type
of person. But you feel attracted to who you feel attracted
to and you don't seem able to change that and because of this
strong desire, each time you meet someone new you believe
that this is the one, and a year later you discover it wasn't.
But in the meantime you've suffered more heartache and pain
and you've had enough and you want to get off this hamster
wheel but you don't know how.
This
person you desire to be with is waiting, and maybe learning
their lessons too.
It
always boils down to beliefs and ideas about self. If you
have low self-esteem you will be attracted to people who will
sooner or later put you down. If you feel you are unattractive,
then you will be attracted to people who are never pleased
with how you look no matter how much effort you put in. If
you feel poor you will be attracted to mean/selfish people.
If you are afraid of commitment you will be attracted to people
who are in relationships and aren't prepared to make a commitment
to you, though they may be happy to enjoy an affair. This
is how it works. So what you have to do is find the attribute
in you that is a mistaken idea about you: self-esteem level,
attractiveness level, fears about wealth, ability to commit
and so on and then ask/pray/wish for help and guidance. And
once you've done that think about what steps you can take
yourself in that direction. You need to take those first steps
and then all the power of the Universe will be unleashed to
assist you, but there may be levels and levels and levels,
like Russian dolls, of mistaken ideas about you that need
to be uncovered. But as long as you desire to be free, you
will be assisted in your journey towards that which you desire.
And
finally, you need to allow the essence of what you want into
your life regardless of the packaging. So if you want companionship
seek out those, of either sex, who would companion you. If
you want conversation, seek out others just to converse with.
If you want to be supported, support others. If you want encouragement,
encourage others. These steps allow into your life the essence
of your desire. And once the essence of your desire is present,
its reality is just round the corner.
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