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Keys
to Happiness - No 1: Self-Appreciation
Appreciation,
or rather the expression of appreciation, is essential for
emotional health and well-being. Appreciation is a skill that
we can all learn. But it has to start at home. It has to start
with appreciation for you.
Appreciation
of self may not come easily. I don't know about you but I
grew up with the sense that to 'blow my own trumpet' was a
bad thing - something I shouldn't do because I wouldn't be
liked if I did. Being liked was important to me - so I didn't
blow my own trumpet - ever. I also rarely felt good about
myself. In my seeking to understand me I discovered that a
powerful connection exists here..
If
you don't already feel good about yourself, and you seek happiness,
then learning the art of self-appreciation is the key to unlocking
the good feelings you'd like to feel inside of you. With that
in mind I have some exercises for you to complete. I would
like you to make a chart of your life. Write down a list of
numbers that represent ages from 0 to your current age - one
line for each. Then just allow your mind to drift over each
of those ages briefly and note down anything significant to
you in the way of a success, or an achievement - something
you felt good about at the time, or you feel good about now.
Things like starting school; passing some exams; getting a
job; getting a job you wanted; kissing someone you liked;
first-time sex; riding a roller coaster; taking a picture;
first pay check; growing a plant from seed; eating something
you'd grown; fulfilling a dream; healing. It really doesn't
matter what it is, it definitely doesn't matter if the rest
of world would see it as insignificant, what matters is that
it was important to you and made you feel good, or excited,
or happy.
Now
when you've been over the list and filled in all the major
events, look at the gaps and see if you can possibly find
something to put on every single line. That's a bit of a challenge
I admit, and there is certainly no failure if you have big
gaps, but you will find that as you move your mind towards
thinking in terms of achievements and successes that more
and more memories will come up.
Now,
buy an expensive frame, and frame this 'certificate' of achievement
and hang it on your bedroom wall. If you have a computer and
like to play around, type in all the information and turn
it into an impressive and attractive certificate and print
it on some quality notepaper. As you look at it every morning
and every evening and see just what a wonderfully successful
person you are, you may find that any gaps will soon be filled
as your mind switches its focus from failure to success. Pick
one item each day, fetch back the memory, and fully appreciate
the importance of that event in your life.
One
other activity I'd like you to engage in is another simple
exercise. At night, just before you drift off to sleep, I'd
like you to wander through your day in your mind and find
between 1 and 5 things that happened that day that you appreciate.
It doesn't matter how small these items of appreciation are.
There is always something good in a day. If the sun came up
this morning then that's a good thing. If you put food in
your mouth, and water in your belly - that's a good thing.
If you enjoyed the food and drink - that's even better. If
you saw a flower, or enjoyed its scent, then make note, if
you were lost in its beauty for a moment - then that's a miracle.
If your car started, or your bus turned up; if you have a
job, or lots of free time... if you took a breath and were
still alive to enjoy breathing it out again… the list
of ordinary, mundane, incredible things that happen to us
each day, and that we take so totally for granted, is endless.
Start to notice them and continue this exercise until you
feel that appreciation and sense of wonder at the time you
are experiencing the event.
Make
this conscious effort to agree to spend a moment or two each
day to express sincere appreciation and thanks for the miracles
that exist around you and within you. Learn to appreciate
the wonder of you, for none of these experiences could exist
without you the Experiencer to enjoy and appreciate them.
Your experiences are unique to you. When you experience joy
the planet has more joy in it. By the simple act of appreciating
those simple, yet wonderful, things that you experience, you
will change your world for the better.
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